Dog Moves In A Mysterious Way
Dark Comedy Short Stories with Gripping Bite
by Rob Badcock
Unlock the cage on this quirky collection of darkly comedic short stories, and its curious cast of characters will take you to a place where reality blurs with fantasy and fear:
– a man stands crying in a room full of bodies trapped in their final, tortured death throes.
– on his very first scout camp, a tenderfoot is pitched into an alien world where a monster dog roams.
– the hushed sanctitude of a bird hide is broken by a suspicious stranger who delivers a chilling ultimatum.
– a defiant young factory worker enters a speakeasy to perform the most dangerous act of her life.
A must-read for fans of dark comedy and all things bizarre, these stories will leave you wanting more and questioning the very fabric of our existence.
Whether you’re howling with laughter or trembling in horror, one thing is sure – you will never, ever, look at a dog in the same way again…
‘A chicken? How the fuck did that get on board?’
‘I don’t know. I –’
Without waiting for an answer, Brenda pushed her way past the girl and barrelled down the aisle. It wasn’t as if she wasn’t totally unprepared to find an item of live poultry sitting on her plane, but when she did, she exploded. A fucking chicken! On her watch!
4 o’clock passed. He was stood up. Left high and dry. In spite of his silent prayers, there was no second coming. Instead, a nightmare awaited, in which he found himself writhing about naked with Wallpaper June in a large wicker basket being winched up to a balcony, with Trevor – also naked – leaning over the balustrade to take pictures.
Then, when the congregation began to sing All Things Bright And Beautiful, each of us had to take the food we’d brought and place it in front of the altar. Marrows, potatoes, carrots, cucumbers and cauliflowers were all laid. And then I went up with my small tin of Del Monte pineapple chunks. The vicar shook his head. Everybody else sniggered. Back in the vestry, they all took the piss.
A dark shape glided from the shadows. His heart skipped a beat, thinking it was her, but he was wrong. The dark shape padded up to him, nuzzled against his shoulder, then licked clean the cut on his cheek. It was Sheba, she of the reddish-brown coat. The human was allowed to stroke the dog, her fur silky soft to the touch. ‘It is time,’ she said. ‘Come.’
Fight-or-flight did not even enter his mind as he slowly eased himself up to his feet. Out through the viewing window, then a drop of about six feet and he would be out on the open marsh. At least he would have a chance.
From outside came the sound of a scuffle, ending with the stifled cry of a man. Then the thump of a body hitting the boardwalk, followed by the gasping gurgle of a slashed trachea. Clive?
Only when she enters the Place of Shadow does she finally summon up the courage to raise her eyes. She lets out a gasp. Towering ten score times her height over her, the terrifying manifestation of power and knowledge, the colossal jade statue of the almighty Dog-God. Here she sits, visible from every part of the city, her gleaming red good eye reading their movements, the black hole of her gouged eye reading their minds.